The School Report!!

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed 

was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an 

envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. 

It was addressed, 'Mum' With the worst premonition, she opened the 

envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.



'Dear, Mum. 

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to 

elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene 

with Dad and you. 

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I 

knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, 

her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. 

But it's not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant. 

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the 

woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. 

We share a dream of having many more children. 

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really 

hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with 

the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. 

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, 

so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! 

Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. 

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your 

many grandchildren... 


Love, your son, Nicholas.


“P.S. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. 

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than 

the school report that's on my desk”

I love you! 

Call when it is safe for me to come home.